Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The "SHOCK" of our lives

I haven't been on since my IUI simply because to our knowledge it didn't work out.  The past month has been well for lack of a better term...HELL!  After the IUI, I began a cycle and found out that I had a cyst on my left ovary.  It was a hard pill to swallow, but I had no idea what was to follow.  A week after my cycle quit, I started another one....WHAT???  As if one isn't already horrible.  Well I went in and was told that it wasn't normal and that we would have to regulate my cycle with birth control.  BIRTH CONTROL!!!! In the words of my husband, "That doesn't seem to be our problem doc."  Well we went ahead and did it anyway.  Whatever will help us get to our goal quickest, we will do!  So while on birth control your body has to adjust and so some abnormal things occur.  It was like the never ending PERIOD.  AHHHHHHH!  So I began a little early.  I called and was told that it was probably just breakthrough bleeding and that was normal and to wait a few more days til I finished the pills and then I should really start.  Little did I know I would never start......I had excruciating pain.  The worst pain I had ever experienced in my WHOLE LIFE.  I thought that I had gallstones and even went to work the next day.  While at work, I could not stand up let alone walk around and help my students.  I never sit down at work, so this was a first.  I finally couldn't take it anymore and left work and my dad took me to the emergency room.  My husband shortly after met us down there.  As a precaution, they had me give a urine sample.  I kindof chuckled thinking, "there is NO way that I am pregnant"  Well after being in the ER for less than an hour, I found out that my urine test came back positive for pregnancy.  PREGNANT! ME? WTF?  I was like there is no way, I want a blood test.  45 minutes levels were 11,500......HOLY MOLY!  So I immediately think...Ectopic Pregnancy.  For those of you who do not know what that is....An Ectopic Pregnancy is when the fertilized egg implants in your fallopian tube and not the uterus.  It is very dangerous and can be fatal if not caught.  Usually you don't know you are having one until you feel pain.  I told Jae that this has got to be what is going on.  I got very scared.  So I go in for an ultrasound which took forever.  She must have taken a million pictures, which was a red flag for me.  I had to wait for radiology to look over them before we could get the results.  By this time I am back in the ER and my mother has gotten there.  I didn't want her to know anything yet because I didn't want her to get excited and then upset.  I knew what was going on eventhough they hadn't told me the final verdict.  So we wait patiently and the ER doctor comes in and says that it is not good and I was having a tubal pregnancy and surgery would be done immediately.  I just started to cry because A.  I finally get pregnant and this is how I find out.  B.  Why do I always have to have it so hard?  C.  This is so dangerous, I may die.    My doctor was not on call and another doctor comes in to do the surgery and lets me know that my tube had ruptured and I would have to have it removed.  Which tube I asked?  The right one she said.  I began to panic because apparently that was my good tube.  Now I am really screwed, but it was either the tube or me at this point.  I had lost soooooooooo much blood.  Finally, Jae made them call my doctor.  As they were taking me back to the operating room, they opened the doors and there he was.  A huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  So we had a little chat and he promised that he would check my left tube for me and that everything was going to be okay.  They did a lap surgery and that left minimal incisions.  The before and after pictures are incredible.  I can't believe how all of this went down, but on the postitive side....Yes Positive Side.....I got pregnant!!!  It was from the IUI!  I was about 8 weeks along.  But God knew that something was wrong and for whatever reason it just wasn't our time.  I did however get a second chance at life.  This I am so thankful for.  Somehow because of all of the bleeding at the time of my normal period and it not showing up on ultrasounds, we missed it.  I have been reassured that my body is completely healthy and also I forgot to left tube is PERFECT!!!  Praise God!  I only have to wait 2 months and then we are back in the game!  I am not giving up!  We came this close and I know that all of this happened for a reason and my time will be here very soon!  I do know this....when this miracle gets here, it will be so spoiled and loved to the max.  I will never take that sweet angel for granted.  It will truly be a miracle and a gift from God!  We find comfort in the fact that we can get pregnant and that we will get pregnant.  Only next time, it will be a wonderful experience!  We can only go up from here!  I am excited about enjoying the holidays and starting the new year with a bang!  I am so lucky to have such amazing family, friends, and co-workers.  What would I do without them?  We are sooooooooooo blessed!  Until January!